The initial stages of a relationship can be confusing, especially when trying to figure out if you’re truly attracted to someone. While some individuals experience an instant attraction, others may be uncertain and wonder how long it takes to develop attraction.
According to Laren Narapareddy, Ph.D., a scientist at Emory University and relationship coach, it’s important not to rely on instantaneous cues of attraction. Believing in these cues can be limiting and may prevent the development of deeper connections.
Rachel London, a matchmaker at Cinqe Matchmaking, agrees and suggests giving attraction a chance. Sometimes physical, emotional, and intellectual chemistry can take time to develop. This means taking the time to get to know someone better and expanding your horizons may lead to a meaningful relationship.
While you may be wondering how long it takes to develop attraction, the timing varies from person to person. London notes that it can take anywhere from a few moments to days or weeks depending on factors such as social cues, conversation topics, and shared interests.
According to Narapareddy, all five of our senses determine our attraction to someone. The eyes detect visual standards influenced by societal beliefs and evolutionary indicators of fitness. The nose picks up on pheromones, and the ears attune to tone and inflection. These senses can influence attraction within seconds.
However, it’s also essential to be patient. Narapareddy recommends waiting until the second kiss to reach a conclusion. Touch and taste are senses that may take a bit longer to factor into attraction and are crucial for romance.
Signs that indicate attraction include being interested in getting to know someone better, feeling excited about spending time together, exchanging physical touches like hugs, having butterflies, and frequently thinking about the person.
If you feel a general lack of excitement about going on a date, aren’t looking forward to being intimate, or aren’t curious about the other person’s life, it’s possible that you’re not attracted to them.
According to Narapareddy, attraction isn’t only about the physical connection. It’s also about creating emotional intimacy and curiosity. This means asking questions about fears, dreams, and hopes and being open to the attraction evolving as you open up to each other.
To sum up, attraction develops at different rates, and it’s essential to be patient and take the time to get to know someone better. By being curious and open to emotional intimacy, individuals can create deeper connections and foster attraction.